Essential Irrelevance

:(

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 10:48:00 -0800

Im on a boat and it seems like I keep finding holes… and now Im sinking. For a while I would just cover the hole with my foot and all anyone ever seems to do is to advise me to keep paddling…but now there are too many holes and the water is up to my ankles….I just want to let it sink…straight to the bottom….But if I ever told anyone this…they would say I’m crazy…”Life is hard sometimes” …another paddle….gratefully I’m an excellent swimmer.

"Can’t wait for the next time I get to sleep while holding you though!"

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 14:36:16 -0800

“Can’t wait for the next time I get to sleep while holding you though!”

- after our first night together

ROAD TRIP!

Mon, 12 Nov 2012 05:41:47 -0800

ROAD TRIP!

It was Magical

Thu, 08 Nov 2012 15:13:00 -0800

Lou: That first kiss …was it Magical?

Me: I dont know…..we had been hanging out all week and we were at a party. I ended up drinking , so I needed to crash because I couldn’t drive home. He was sleeping in the guest room and me on the couch. I remember laying on that couch , hoping he would come and we could talk, I didnt want to sleep..just wanted to keep talking to him…..well I had trouble sleeping all night because of the two other people in the room…one was fully naked..and so at one point I started to feel uncomfortable…so I went to wake him up….I told him how I wanted him to come with me to get Troy to dress himself ( he was out of it ) but instead he patting the space next to him and told me he would stay on his side. I hesitated…I laid down….and we closed our eyes..whispering good night to each other…but neither of us could sleep…so then we started talking…..We had both rolled to face each other and slowly inched closer…staring back at each other. I dont who know made the first move but yeah it was magical…

Vampire ( like in the 80’s flicks, going after virgins)...

Fri, 02 Nov 2012 18:04:00 -0700

Vampire ( like in the 80’s flicks, going after virgins) and then there is Glittering Vampire Edward Cullens. then Amy in the backround….being Amy lol

its facebook official

Fri, 02 Nov 2012 16:39:00 -0700

Ive had a few boyfriends…Stanley from High School, Anton in College, Andrew before I joined the Air Force and Luke last winter….and lets just say I dont have the best record for relationships….the longest one Ive had would probably be with Anton, but only because we broke up like 3 times. Now Im dating Lee and Im hoping this one lasts longer then the other four , and for the first time I decided to make it “facebook official”. This might sound a lil dumb but the truth is when you’re this far from home…facebook is the only thing connecting you….I go on facebook to see my niece’s first day of school, the birthday cake they bought for me while Im across the ocean..yea maybe if I still lived at home, depending on facebook as communication would be silly but for me, its the only thing keeping me grounded. Anyways…so I posted on facebook that Im in a relationship now…Ive never done this before…so yeah some people were pretty surprised…and being the secretive person that I am, even my family didnt know…that for the past 3 1/2 months now Ive been dating someone…and that going onto the 4th month Ive finally decided to let everyone else know the great news…I mainly did it for me and Lee. I remember the first time I introduced myself as his girlfriend, he said he liked the ring of it…Im excited to be in this relationship and hell yeah I wanna share it with everyone.

Always the bad guy

Fri, 05 Oct 2012 14:04:08 -0700

So like any good story there has to be a conflict. Why can’t there be problem free plots. Why can’t we just skip the drama? And realistically in someone else’s story I’m the antagonist, the villain , the bad guy and yeah I kinda feel like it now too……what would have been a good time tomorrow is now tainted. With Mandy being sick…my fault also…..and we’ll as much as lee says he doesn’t blame me….I know I blame me and maybe Stacey blames me and lee blames me a little. He asked my honest opinion about inviting Stacey….she already knew I would say no…..I said no….whose the bad guy? Of course I wold be. Though I can’t really explain the complete story because who knows what they talk about ? …..I’ve only met Stacey once. We were out with a friend and Stacey drunk texts Lee asking where he’s at, invites herself over . As a new girlfriend how would you feel if this friend turns out to be his ex…..and this ex is trying to get your bf to go off with her to party, I tried really hard to stay calm and not be upset and honestly there were moments that night that I questioned why I was even there. I told myself that I really liked this guy and he really likes me and that this is nothing and it will phase and everything else. Lets just say this night only got worst. So yeah maybe I get jealous ….and upset and now the day that invite lee to hang out with me and meet my friends, he asks if she can come too…..I feel bad that yeah he was suppose to hang out with her but how am I suppose to respond. I don’t know how I held my composure, the first time. I’m a villain , that’s what I’ve concluded to.

It's hereditary

Thu, 04 Oct 2012 13:22:00 -0700

Spoke to my mom today, she didn’t have too much good to tell me. Apparently her and dad have been having problems. Nothing new but pretty much where they left off when I left a year ago. Same old same old. Dad talks to his ex wife , even though it upsets mom….it just makes me sad. I remember days where my mom would cry for hours and my dad would leave the house hours at a time. It was always the same thing.
I guess you can say that I’ve picked up the jealousy from my mom and yeah every now it scares me that it’ll get in the way. I’m not crazy jealous , but if I’m given a reason to be then yeah I will be . What scares me the most though is looking for something that’s not there….and finding something I don’t want to know.

"I cant remember what its like to sleep without you <3"

Sun, 23 Sep 2012 11:56:44 -0700

“I cant remember what its like to sleep without you <3”

:) I havent felt this happy in a while

Sun, 23 Sep 2012 10:50:00 -0700

Last night Lee’s dad ( I dont really know what to call him…Richard, Rick, Mr. Wynn, Lee’s Dad) talked about the 60s,70s,….and how horrible the 80’s were. I admit at first I thought it was gonna be strange to meet his dad..since we only have been dating two months or so now….and at first it was. Conversation was short and at some times quiet….but I think I made a pretty good impression, he laughed at my jokes and said he liked my attitude :)…but so the 2nd night, I decided to stay home and let the two have their father /son bonding ( which honestly was really hard for me because Lee and me have been inseparable ( aside from work and two dinners).But Lee insisted that I spend the night since I wouldnt be seeing him for the next two days ( this is the longest we haven’t seen each other)…so after they return from the bar and when I arrive the two are happily sitting in the living room, candles lit , sippin beer. Well I wasnt sure how his dad would react to me showing up suddenly….but what happen next kinda threw me off…I had just asked if they had fun at the Bar and he chuckles ” girl I always have fun” and then proceeded to tell me “now come here and give me a hug”….I did not expect that…and so after that I think things were less awkward as we listened to his dad talk about concerts in Texas and Oklahoma….Though the entire time , as I listened to his dad talk, Lee was staring at me, kinda made me blush a bit and giddy inside…and he didnt have to say it but I could just feel how much he adores me …thats some really corny stuff ?! But Im serious he just looked at me like I was something special and I dont think anyone has ever looked at me that way. It was a good night and Lee just kept whispering in my ear , how happy he was that I came over.

Lee & Me

Tue, 18 Sep 2012 21:57:25 -0700

Lee & Me

Life as of lately

Sun, 16 Sep 2012 02:00:13 -0700

So I haven’t been on here in a while but that’s because life has had me pretty darn busy. Between work and……ok fine it’s because ive met someone…. I know you’re all very excited… Well let’s see…uh his name is Richard…though I call him Lee. Ummmm and he’s pretty fantastic. And im not just saying this because i have agreed to let him read my blog later this afternoon, but because I really do believe that. He does things that make me smile all goofy because it’s just so darn cute….and he makes me feel special. First guy ever! Who has told me how awesome his friends think i am! How they all say that he did a Good job…..always complimenting me! Girls loves that shit…..and makes plans for the future…like taking me to Texas, even though I hate Texas…. But I’m excited to go because he wants to take me. Or the fact that I said it would never be “whose coming with me and where am i going” but that I just want to follow him all over the place…gosh I’ve gone soft, but I really like this one.

screenkid: I’m holding out hope that it’s possible to have it...

Sat, 14 Jul 2012 12:28:04 -0700

screenkid:

I’m holding out hope that it’s possible to have it all.

He’s so hot …but so gay . Matt Bomber my gay crush

Sat, 14 Jul 2012 03:55:31 -0700

He’s so hot …but so gay . Matt Bomber my gay crush

Back of my Mind

Tue, 26 Jun 2012 17:14:00 -0700

On the way to Frankfurt to see Blink 182 and the All American Rejects…all I could think about was Andrew. Back to two Novembers ago…Nov 6th 2010….we went to see Circa Survive in concert…his favorite band….and then two weeks later we saw Something Corporate and Jack’s Mannequin…My favorite bands….he was always so much fun to go to concerts with, both of us so into the music and at the same time , so into each other…how he had told me that Blink 182 was one of the best band he had seen live the summer before…and How all I could think about ….how I wish it was him I was going to the concert with tonight.

So I finally came around to watching Heroes….and oh man...

Sun, 17 Jun 2012 10:45:00 -0700

So I finally came around to watching Heroes….and oh man have I been missing out . I love men in suits

gahhh finding a car is so hard

Mon, 14 May 2012 09:40:51 -0700

Now and forever

Mon, 07 May 2012 03:52:44 -0700

Now and forever

mix feelings, stir it up

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 14:18:00 -0700

So RGA has two teams now. Im on the B team..who wont be playing til September….mid September…which means I prob wont be playing…since its End of Fiscal Year…..why be motivated to attend practice if I’ll never play?

Photo

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 08:29:26 -0700